Thursday, February 21, 2008

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that also)

Tuesday was a league night... in a race to 4.
My opponent was a cheater. Outright.
Didn't bother me, it just gave me more motivation to stomp the crap out of her and take the match. Much like a recent post by Pool Minnow about an opponent she played during a tournament.

Congrats to her for the win, btw.

Cheater made me hate her more than I hate gum on the underside of my hat. Not that this happens often, but if it does... I reallllly hate it. Trust me.

So we played a race to 4
I took the lag, then cheater won the first rack, it was then that I realized cheater didn't like to play fair.
Cheater would move a ball with her hand/stick and not think twice about moving it back. Just take her shot and move it back "best she could"

I played, I watched her make balls without even thinking about position.

When the cueball and object are close enough (usually within a chalk's width), a double hit is possible/more likely. You can tell if there was a double hit by the direction of the cueball after object ball contact. Please see exhibit ADoubleHit

Cheater would double hit and not say anything, even when the cue stopped in an obvious run out position for me, or her....

I played, I watched her cheat at little things like this. I figure cheater must have really needed this win.

In the 2nd game I scratched (a secondary object ball knocked the rock in a weird direction) Immediately cheater encouraged her team to celebrate as if cheater just won the Olympics.
Cheater would jump and scream loudly. I came close (once) to dropping the eight ball early, to my left it sounded like a 2nd grade wedding reception was suddenly released onto the playing field of a homecoming football game.

I played, I watched her team's excellent sportsmanship skills.

Cheater would foul by missing everything, sometimes not even hit a rail... Cueball just rolls methodically 1 diamond away from her stick, would cheater call it? NOooo... just walk away from the table as if it was a completely legit. "Maybe he won't notice"

I played, I watched her avoid playing safe for the beautiful sell out.

Cheater would win the first rack, and that was it.

/remove soapbox

4-1 Rabbit

Thursday Night was an interesting night.  Not due to the league match, but due to the games after the match. I'll probably explain in the next post.

The league match was against some new guy. According to his dress and lack of words, I think he was a truck driver in town for the week on a delayed delivery.

We shook hands, we went to lag, out of the corner of my eye I see something beautiful. Awe inspiring. Absolutely incredible.
His cue stick was amazingly white. More than the snow atop Pike's Peak Peak in the middle of a December snow storm.
But that's not what caught my interest. It's not what excited the inner's of every muscle in my body. The color wasn't what alerted my body to the fact that every tendon was connected to every bone and every joint interlocked with fluids of cushion.

I stand to take the opportunity to admire the stick.... that's when it struck me.
Not the stick, it's not what struck me.

The realization of what was soooo damned attractive about this stunningly white cue stick.

It's creator, that's what grabbed my attention so fully.
The cue maker was Budweiser.
I was about to play against a guy that's using a cue stick made from a beer company.
My thoughts.... "Wouldn't you do better with a house cue?"

In a race to 4, I win.

4-0 Rabbit

Oh Customer's, how I loath you

Every now and then we send out update CD's for the system that I support.
It has bug fixes and address updates and usual junk like that.
Every single "patch cd" that's sent out has exact and precise instructions on the CD case.
Every time we send out a bulk amount of these CD's, inevitably our call queue escalates due to people having issues trying to update their system
Here's an example:

"Hi, I just got the update CD and I need to put it on my computer."

"alright, have you already put the CD in the computer drive?"

"yeah, it's in there right now. Didn't do nothin' tho' "

"Ok, click on edit... then options... a new window will open up"

"Got it, it says--" [proceeds to read each and every word starting from the top left corner, and won't allow interruption.]

"Click on the Update Tab in the upper left corner, the very first thing you read off."

"Ok, now it says--" [Started to read again...]

"--I have the same thing on my screen, I can see exactly what you're looking at"

"Oh! Can you see me?"

"Umm.. no, I'm just using a copy of what you're using... it's like looking at something you've faxed to me."

"oh, cause I was gonna do a dance for ya'"

"haha, that's nice of you.... Go ahead and highlight CD-Rom, then Update to the right of that"

"Ok, it has an error message... Somethin' about puttin' a CD in a drive or something?"

"........................where's the CD at right now?"

"right here"

"I'm not see...exactly where....'here' is"

"I'm holdin' it in my hand"

"Ok, let's go back to where we started...."

After 3 attempts the member realizes that she has to not only put the cd in the drive, but also LEAVE it in the drive... not eject it immediately.