Monday, December 31, 2007

Mullets aren't always winners

To the left... we have a balanced diet... take note.


Another league night was ... last night. And as it turns out, I'm a retard.
I was on the hill... only one 8 ball to go and I've won the match.

I had the 5 in the corner (which I rattled 2 strokes prior) and then the 8 (about the middle of the table, but close to the side) and that would take the game... the match... yey.

So I hit the 5 with deep draw... the 5 drops to the center of the pocket as predicted... the cue ball, with huge back spin... quickly grips the felt... climbing straight back to my cue... I pick up my bridge/stick/self allowing room for the cueball to drift into position on the 8...
instead it drifts flawlessly into the side pocket.

This is the part where my subconscious took over. It sees the 8 ball... and the rock in the pocket... and my subconscious decides FOR ME that I had lost this rack... let's go again. So I grab up the 10 and the 12 (other player had the 10, 12, 8) and I'm about this close to grabbing the 8 ball and setting up a new rack, when I realize I didn't actually lose the game. I just committed a ball in hand foul, but I haven't lost the god damned game!

So I informed my opponent that he has ball in hand, and can replace the 10 and 12 ball where ever he likes.
He ends up rattling the 8, so I win the game/match/night.
3/0... I'm a winner
my team started the night in 3rd place... so chances are we're goin' to the play offs... we'll see.


If you play pool, you know when you're on... you're on.
You could run the table and make a grilled cheese sandwich at the same time you're so f***in' on.
Well... I was on.
I played for fun against someone that would usually beat me senseless... instead it felt like I beat up on some little kid... the usual better player ate my socks.

Word to me winning.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Pay for your gas or lose your ID



Last night I filled up on gas... and saw these instructions how to pay... Hilarious


Last night was league night.

I play 3 nights a week... 2 of those nights I go straight from work, and have pretty much zero time to warm up. So I'm playing matches cold.
I usually play better when playing against players of a better skill level... I tend to focus more... care about my shots more... etc.

Last night I played a skill lever 1 lower than mine. Here's how all that went...

- I won the lag, broke empty, she made a few nice shots, and I made a few nice F*** ups... 1 giving her ball in hand which she ran out from.
- The 2nd rack she broke, a solid dropped, we went back and forth... she's a pretty agressive player that leaves herself with shots that didn't need to be as difficult as they were.
With this in mind I played some "oops, I meant to make that" safety's. Parking the stripe in the jaws or nearer the pocket in general, but leaving her a tough bank or kick.

Didn't work, I lost my socks... 2/0

This win put the other team into the play-offs and that's totally fine with me. They're a good bunch of people who are out to have a great time... not out for competition.
On the other hand, I am out for the competition... and then for fun.
In that order.

So losing sucked, but I knew we weren't going to be anywhere near first or 2nd place so it didn't bother me at all last night.
For me, that's weird.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Avoiding the Nazi's and challenging cartwheels


I've been reading this book by Chuck Palahniuk... same author as Fight Club (the book before the movie). It's called "Choke." About 260 pages in total and it's damn good so far.
I've read 4 or 5... maybe 6 books by Chuck, and all of them have been great.
Except 1... "Diary"... Garbage.

Anyway... So the other day I had to fly from Denver back into the Chicago area so I could do the whole family food thing.

Forecast today:
Denver... Sunny at 45 F
Chicago... Blizzard hell with a chance of warmth inside a building.
So the flight was delayed about 30 minutes, no biggy.

During the first half or so of the flight, crammed between a pre-med student studying sexual reproduction, and to my right was a "let's move around a lot with no consideration of the 1/2 inch space between me and anyone around me"... I was reading this book, Choke. Since I woke up at something like the ass crack of dawn o'clock in the morning... I was a bit tired.

Now, if you've ever been on a plane... you know what turbulence feels like.
For those of you who don't... here's a little summary.
Think of a roller coaster. One of those wooden ones. Add a blind fold, and get in.
You feel the roller coaster jerk and rattle as it leaves the docking station... lean back as it pulls the carriage up the first hill... and then it reaches a plateau, but you still feel a bit of the jerking and rattling.
This rocking and rattling and jerking of the seat is turbulence. It's pretty random, and usually accompanied by a small whimper of the person in the seat behind you or a child's high pitched scream 6 seats back.

After the plane took off the air above the first 5 or something states was solid, no turbulence, comfortable... and sleep worthy.
But I forged on, and read a whopping 30 pages or so before I found myself re-reading the same page over and over, and still not knowing what I just read.
It's like reading the diary of a schizophrenic. Word salad.
Your mind sees "Discount trees from sleep food 75 duck empty ticket," but the words on the page read "When the server presented the $75 bill, you could just pay with the coupon."
That's what it's like. Craziness. And not very conducive to understanding what's happening in a book you're enjoying, so I went to sleep.


At some point in my dream world the teen settled down, closed the windows and went to sleep. The pre-med student decided to take a note out of my book as well, and also took to slumber. FYI, this is odd because it's a flight that left at 2pm. That's afternoon time.

So we get near the area of Midway/Chicago/IL/Blizzard/Near Death... and I wake up due to a calming scream several seats in front of me.
I quickly realize the plane is on a hard right turn. Apparently we were under attack from the nazi's of 1944 and our pilot was avoiding the flak cannon fire from below. Then the plane leveled out for a long 0.23 seconds and then swooped into a hard left bank this time. Gravity grabbed my body and pulled me into the pre-med student. My $5 Seven and Seven drink slid across my fold out table thing, catching it just before it spilled across pre-med student's right leg... I took a drink.

Impending doom requires a stiff drink.

Midway airport is conveniently placed in the middle of a suburban area... so as you're landing, you can pretend we're going to undershoot the runway and end up in the middle of someone's living room watching Grey's Anatomy.
After avoiding flak, nazi air-o-planes, missiles and nuclear detonation... we were approaching a 3 story house built in 1985.
Out of the window I see wood paneling, bricks, and a wooden deck fly by. when we get just above the roof tops I feel that familiar roller coaster feeling... turbulence... and I see the wing erch down toward the runway/ground/death.
My thoughts are suddenly filled with cart-wheels and 2nd grade competitions with girls. I never did have a competition with a plane in 2nd grade.

Props to the pilot... We all survived... and are hero's for it.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

I got food for christmas


And lots of food at that.

In the past 20 some years that I remember every year I'd go to my grandparents house or an aunt and uncles... the entire family would arrive with their tubaware and crock pots and glass dishes of random foods.

My favorite was always the smashed potatoes and the white meat of the turkey. I'd get a side of corn and mix it into my grey-white mound of gravy covered potatoes creating heaven... pair that with my sandwich of moist turkey and butter on a couple of french bread slices or a butter roll, whichever my arms could reach at the tender young age of --I don't remember, younger than now.

Well... a few months ago I moved to a different city, state, family, zip code and life... depending on your viewing angle.
I went to 2 different homes, and ends of the social entertainment spectrum, over xmas eve and xmas day. Eve was the classy day... You know how it is, use a coaster, take your hat off, you're in the military again.. so eat your peas and prepare for the hurry up and wait of this environment.
The eldest of this box makes 1 of the best cheese cakes I've ever consumed.
TONS of fun.. stuffy, boring.. fun.
Great wine though.

Then there's xmas day... Box number 2. Good times and good humor... and better beer. This is the fun side of the family, and this is also the best food side of the family, as it turns out.
Everything was awesome food... from the cheese covered potatoes to the cauliflower wrapped in melted cheese and the stuffing with the perfectly moist light colored turkey meat... insert nirvana angelic muzak here because that's how my belly felt.
For desert - I love cheese cake... and this family had some cheese that was .... well, soft and creamy. Gross.
If I'm eating a cheesecake, it's gotta be firm and with a comfortable tasty factory manufactured gram cracker crust.

Other than food, I recv'd a book that I've been wanting to read... and a movie (see "The Big Libowsky") to boot. Good christmas!!

Other than that... I didn't play pool. Haven't played since Sunday... 10 days ago. Damnit. Feels like a lifetime.. But did give input on a new name for our league team.
Final results are pending.